So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
