sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
