But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
