He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
