In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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