Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
