i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
