"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
nutella sex= disaster
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
