Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
