Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
