we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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