I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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