From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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