I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
