Quick, to the slutcave!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
