direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
