My nipple is on Facebook.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
