do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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