this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
