Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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