I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
