Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
