mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
