ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
porn star boner night. come get it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
last night I used snow as a chaser
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
