i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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