I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
