Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
