im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
