Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
