someone threw a dead crab at me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
