I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
