her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
