My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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