I got her a Nickelback box set.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
