The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
