He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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