Your dad touched me again.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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