can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
