Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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