I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He felt like a one man threesome
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
