omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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