Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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