Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
