Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
