This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
