Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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