If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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