the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
