wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
