you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
