I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
