Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
