my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
