I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
