I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
